Personal growth Archives - Page 3 of 4

By Daniella Mini

Woman looking out onto a body of water Do you want 2021 to be the best year possible? I sure do. That’s why I’ve been pondering 2020 like crazy, to understand what lessons it taught me.

This year brought me, you, and practically every human on the planet the COVID-19 pandemic.

I bet you a million dollars -no, make that 5 million- you didn’t have a favorite mask before 2020. Am I right?

And that’s the least of the effects of this bug of course. Many have seen it cause death, disease and economic ruin to family and friends.

On a personal level, I learned what a root canal was all about in 2020. I hope to never again have to sit for over an hour with a dental dam in my open mouth while the dentist pokes, drills and carves out my tooth.

But COVID and my root canal -unexpected, tragic and dramatic as they were- did not change me much.

The seven discoveries that follow did. Though they happened mostly in that wrinkled mass inside my skull, they will affect my life and outlook in 2021 and beyond.

Life lesson #1: I won’t worry about getting fired.

For starters, the job market for special education teachers is tight, due to the pandemic and all. Then there’s the fact that I’m tenured, which means I’d have to do something mighty egregious to get fired.

Most importantly, I’ve decided I can ALWAYS be professional while NEVER compromising my conscience and ethics. I confess I’ve occasionally risked the latter two so as not to rock the boat. I pledge to never do so again.

Any ethical pledges on your end?

Life lesson #2: The difference between“knowing” and “seeing”.

Seeing is when it hits you: “How in the world could I have been so selfish, stupid, delusional, in denial, evil, careless, carefree, naive, oblivious — or whatever — about this?”

We can’t blame people for knowing something and doing nothing about it. But we might blame those who do see but decide to do nothing at all.

The next two items are situations I’ve come to see in 2020.

Life lesson #3: I’ll never buy gold or diamond jewelry, not even if I won the lottery.

Though it has been going on for a long time, 2020 is the year I’ve come to see the destruction of the Venezuelan Amazon as a result of mining.

Now I can’t behold a piece of gold or diamond jewelry without instantly feeling the hurt of knowing what human vanity, cruelty, senselessness and stupidity — mine included first and foremost! — do to other humans (in this case indigenous Amazonians) and the environment.

Life lesson #4: We’re committing collective self-harm.

Definitely the most obvious discovery of 2020 for me. We’re destroying that which supports us: the natural world. We’re doing it directly through deforestation, habitat destruction, and, indirectly, by changing the climate.

With few exceptions, we’re all complicit. I definitely have been. (Am still!)

Is there anything you “knew” but only “saw” this year?

Life lesson #5: I’m addicted to writing!

The year 2020 will go down as the year I became addicted to writing.

It’s not about the money, followers, or influence you may have on 23 or 237,360 people — though it all counts.

It’s mainly about the part of the brain that you work, hard, every day. Once it begins to demand that you activate it regularly, there’s no going back.

You’ve acquired a writing habit, in the addictive sense of the word habit.

It’s not a matter of preferring to write instead of any number of things I also love or need to do. I actually need to get my writing fix. Which is why you’ll be reading more of my posts. (Thanks in advance for reading!)

It’s a time consuming, effortful habit if there ever was one!

Did you get hooked on anything good or bad this year?

Life lesson #6: I’m not ready to go gray.

I made this discovery during the spring lockdown when I seriously considered this decision as if it would change the course of world history.

I ran the idea by family and friends and realized that there’s more to coloring one’s hair than looking good and that, fundamentally, I’m too vain and proud (and Venezuelan!) to go gray at this point. Maybe in 2030.

Are frivolity and pride the worst sins?

Lesson #7: I want to be a participant in social media.

I “discovered” social media this past year. I had Instagram and Facebook accounts but had almost never used them.

I derive huge satisfaction from contributing, in my own small way, to the conversation. I see it as a privilege even.

Yes, social media is addictive, especially for younger people who’ve grown up with it. The polarization, misinformation and junk it produces is also a dangerous reality. Just watch The Social Dilemma!

It’s vital to make a conscious decision on one’s use of social media. Otherwise, it will use you.

I’ve decided to use it to spread my ideas (hopefully helping, inspiring or entertaining) and support what I want to see more of in this crazy world.

What role does social media play in your life?

What’s in store for 2021?

I have more dental work, mask-wearing, and remote teaching to look forward to in 2021.

My root canal story didn’t end well. The tooth couldn’t be saved so it had to be extracted and the gum cavity filled with bovine bone flakes. The gum should be ready for an implant early next year.

The end of the pandemic, though closer, is still many months away.

But I have no idea what life-changing discoveries 2021 will bring. That’s kind of exciting, don’t you think?

Anyway, the end of the year brings to mind this quote from Frederick Douglass’s Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave:

“He most lives who thinks the most, feels the noblest, acts the best.”

You can live the most on any year, at any age and under all circumstances. Which means we can all live the most in 2021.

By Daniella Mini

Focus written on hand — Photo by Chase Clark on Unsplash

The tricky problem of pronouncing vowels just right

There are at least three words every native Spanish speaker should avoid saying in English: focus, sheet and beach.

Focus (f*ck us)

I know several high-school teachers whose native language is Spanish. They don’t ask their students to “f*ck us”. No, teenagers should never engage in sexual activity in school. Rather, in class, students need to “pay attention.”

Sheet (sh%t)

When Luisa does laundry, she never washes the “sh%ts”. There’s no excrement to wash, fortunately. She does, however, wash all the “bed linen” on a weekly basis.

Many native Spanish speakers will not make use of a cheat “sh%t”. They prefer a “flashcard.”

Teachers should never ask their students to take out a “sh%t” of paper. A “piece” of paper will do.

Beach (b#tch)

The “coast” and the “sea” are places my friend Raquel loves and often goes on vacation. The “b#tch” though, she doesn’t seem to like or visit much.

All kidding aside, why do we need to go through all this trouble?

Spanish is what’s called an orthographically shallow language. English, by contrast, is orthographically deep. I’m not referring at all to either language’s ability to express thoughts and ideas of any given depth.

Alphabetic orthography simply refers to the degree of correspondence between a letter and a sound. One-to-one correspondence is the case for most letters of the alphabet in Spanish. This makes Spanish shallow. In English, a deep language, many letters say multiple sounds.

Here’s the problem with vowels: Spanish and English both have five vowels, a-e-i-o-u. In Spanish, they make five sounds. What you see in writing is what you say and what you say is what you write. Always. In English, these very same vowels make 14 to 20 vowel sounds! Go figure.

As we in the Spanish-speaking world learn to talk, and as we keep talking over the years, our mouths get used to saying five vowel sounds only. No wonder English pronunciation (and spelling for that matter) is so damn confusing!

Thus, next time you hear us mispronounce, remember: it’s not that we’re shallow. It’s just that someone decided to make English tricky, non-sensical, and “deep”.

The dilemmas of writing in non-native English

I began to learn English at school when I was 4 years old, in Caracas, Venezuela. My school had a strong English language curriculum that emphasized, above all else, grammar and spelling.

Still, my life took place in Spanish and I didn’t have to write anything longer than a couple of paragraphs in English until I went away to college in the US.

Oh, except for my college admissions essay, which my father, who’d lived in the US through his high school and college years, helped me with.

I soon discovered how utterly unprepared I was for all the writing college required. The first essay I wrote was for a first-year seminar called War, and I procrastinated (out of fear?) until the night before it was due.

That night, I learned the term all-nighter.

I actually wrote the essay longhand, if you can believe it. The year being 1987, it was probably one of the last times any professor at my college had a student turn in a handwritten essay.

A guy who lived down the hallway in my dorm, and whom I would date two years later, helped me out. I could tell he thought it was both stupid and hilarious that I’d put off starting my first real essay until the night before it was due.

Yet, here I am, 33 years later, writing out of choice — in English.

The truth is my K-12 school didn’t emphasize essay writing at all — in any language. Thus, the only language I have practice writing in is English. However good or bad my writing may be, it would be far inferior in Spanish, which is not only my native language but also my most fluent “natural” language.

There are times when I’m keenly aware that I write in non-native English.

The most obvious instance is when I deal with prepositions. Grammar correction tools are great, but, sometimes, not even Grammarly is of any help.

Do I work in North School, at North School, or for North School?

Did I put on my pajamas backward or inside out?

Then there’s the impersonal Spanish “se”, which I so often wish existed in English.

When I write in English, I’m not translating ideas from Spanish to English. Sometimes, though, as I write a sentence, the thought “This would sound so perfect with se” comes to mind.

For example, in Spanish, we need not call you or anyone out when suggesting or requiring. “Hay que cubrirse la boca” is directed at the universe, while “You must cover your mouth” is directed at you.

“Se habla inglés” sounds friendlier than “English spoken here.”

And, doesn’t “Se añaden 2 tazas de azúcar” in a recipe sound more optional than “Add 2 cups of sugar”?

How about the dilemma of when to use contractions? I imagine native speakers of English just know when to use can’t instead of cannot, and they’ll and not they will.

Since I was taught not to use contractions in writing, I always end up adding them during revision. Habits acquired in childhood are mighty hard to break!

Because of how I was taught to write English, I know my inclination is to write very formal, and that, perhaps, this makes me try too hard to sound the opposite. I also know I’ll never get the prepositions and contractions just right, and that word order may sound a bit off at times.

I like to think, though, that being a non-native English writer ultimately makes my work a bit more original. But that’s for readers to decide.

Category: Personal growth

Prepare to Live the Most in 2021 by Taking Stock of 2020