Public Ponder

Expectations: Celebrating My Son’s Progress—Then Foolishly Grieving Its Limits

My son Diego, who’s autistic and intellectually disabled, was 31 when I heard him engage in his best phone exchange ever. “Diego, I think you need to get a haircut this week,” I said to him one Monday...Read More →

Normal: The Day My Autistic Son Prayed About Underwear

One recent Saturday morning, I drove my 31-year-old autistic son Diego to a park for his group run with Achilles, an organization that promotes running for people with disabilities. As we walked toward...Read More →

Autism, Airplanes and Acts of Kindness

Sometimes I want to quit society and go live in Tristan da Cunha. Why? Because it’s the remotest island in the world, the farthest one from any continent. There, I wouldn’t be assaulted with paperwork...Read More →

My Son’s Evaluations: The Words That Broke My Heart

As I work on my memoir about raising Diego, my 31-year-old autistic and bipolar son, I’ve spent many hours reading the stack of records about him gathered over his educational years, reliving how it...Read More →

Posting Diego: Consent and the Ethics of Sharing

There’s surely nothing objectionable about a mother posting photos and videos of her adult son with his consent. But what if, like Diego, the son has an intellectual disability? When I created my...Read More →

Bras, Underwear, and Hiking Shoes: 4 Lessons from My Year Long Shopping Fast

In July 2024, I visited my niece in San Diego for a week and forgot to pack bras. We went hiking, running, or to the beach every day, and every day I washed the bra I wore the day I flew into San Diego....Read More →

14 Venezuelan Women Walk El Camino de Santiago in the Rain

I traveled with thirteen women from my high school class to Punta Cana, in the Dominican Republic, the year we all turned 50. I had been close with several of my fellow travelers while in high school,...Read More →

Why I Can Never Get Divorced

“Did you hear the news about Ben Affleck?” Diego, my 30-year-old autistic son, asked me this past summer. “No, Diego. What happened?” I replied, wondering if Affleck had died or something. “He split...Read More →

The Stranger Who Boosted My Trust in Humankind

One Tuesday morning this past summer, as I was about to leave for work, I realized my pocketbook wasn’t in my bag. It wasn’t hiding in my gym bag or the space between the car seat and door either. After...Read More →