Public Ponder

My Son’s Evaluations: The Words That Broke My Heart

As I work on my memoir about raising Diego, my 31-year-old autistic and bipolar son, I’ve spent many hours reading the stack of records about him gathered over his educational years, reliving how it...Read More →

Posting Diego: Consent and the Ethics of Sharing

There’s surely nothing objectionable about a mother posting photos and videos of her adult son with his consent. But what if, like Diego, the son has an intellectual disability? When I created my...Read More →

Bras, Underwear, and Hiking Shoes: 4 Lessons from My Year Long Shopping Fast

In July 2024, I visited my niece in San Diego for a week and forgot to pack bras. We went hiking, running, or to the beach every day, and every day I washed the bra I wore the day I flew into San Diego....Read More →

14 Venezuelan Women Walk El Camino de Santiago in the Rain

I traveled with thirteen women from my high school class to Punta Cana, in the Dominican Republic, the year we all turned 50. I had been close with several of my fellow travelers while in high school,...Read More →

Why I Can Never Get Divorced

“Did you hear the news about Ben Affleck?” Diego, my 30-year-old autistic son, asked me this past summer. “No, Diego. What happened?” I replied, wondering if Affleck had died or something. “He split...Read More →

The Stranger Who Boosted My Trust in Humankind

One Tuesday morning this past summer, as I was about to leave for work, I realized my pocketbook wasn’t in my bag. It wasn’t hiding in my gym bag or the space between the car seat and door either. After...Read More →

The Bittersweet Gift of Family Reunions When Your Child Is Autistic

“What’s the funniest thing that has happened to you lately?” my sister Gabi asked a group of family members one evening this past June. We had gathered at the big old porch of the Lillagaard, a bed and...Read More →

When My Father Became a Revered Elder

My father reminds me of the ogre Shrek: grumpy, odd, impatient, looking to be left alone, but at the same time inordinately sweet, interesting, and self-assured. These discordant qualities have become...Read More →

First Times

While running with my son Diego recently, I saw an owl in the wild for the first time, a big old brown owl sitting on a branch near the side of the road. Sure, I’d seen many owls in captivity before and...Read More →